It starts with a small trickle, growing louder, then whoosh. A wave crashes down onto the shore,creating shock waves through out the beach. The pulsating noise of the water over comes me. Crashing or simply sliding over the sand, I feel it though it never touches my body. It washes my mind of troubles, as if it were cleansing water.It continues to flow, drawing back only to strike again. There is a small pause, I hear something else for a change, a flag flying in the wind? It doesn't last and soon the roar of the waves are back upon me. They make sure that I realize who is the dominant sound there, them, the water. I feel it pushing and pulling through the sand, trying to reach out and consume the world as if it were an evil mastermind. My heart is following the waves, aching when they leave, and growing as they return. I never realized how beautiful the melodies of the tides were, but i never took the time to realize that they could be beautiful. The waves continue to return, a faithful servant to my hearts want for it's music. Spending eternity on this beach would be easy, but alas the music dies down, and the rest of the world takes over.
The source of the sound
"I feel it pushing and pulling through the sand, trying to reach out and consume the world as if it were an evil mastermind." This quote includes a similie and uses really descriptive words. I like this quote because it really puts you in the setting. Words like 'mastermind' are great ways to to incorporate a darker side.
ReplyDeleteThe part of the description that captured me was when you described that you realized how beautiful the song of the sea was. You used descriptive words like 'a faithful servant' made it seem like the ocean's waves had taken control. I thought your description was really good.
One thing you could improve on is what you heard. If you concentrated on the actual sounds then maybe your writing would have more focus. Also, if you used more detailed words, then it would make your writing more interesting.